Life, the Universe and Everything Wiki

Milliways is, of course, better known as the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, and is one of the most extraordinary ventures in the entire history of catering. The Restaurant has some of the most staggeringly extravagant decor ever seen, a variety of the strangest guests from throughout history, and serves a particularly fine Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

More to the point, it is built on the fragmented remains of an eventually ruined planet which is (wioll haven be) enclosed in a vast time bubble and projected forward in time to the precise moment of the End of the Universe. Max Quordlepleen is your host for an evening of fine food, fine wine, and a floorshow featuring the universe as we know it boiling away into the cosmic void. This is, many would say, impossible.

In it, guests take (willan on-take) their places at table and eat (willan on-eat) sumptuous meals whilst watching (willing watchen) the whole of creation explode around them. This is, many would say, equally impossible.

You can arrive (mayan arivan on-when) for any sitting you like without prior (late fore-when) reservation because you can book retrospectively, as it were when you return to your own time. (you can have on-book haventa forewhen presooning returningwenta retrohome.) This is, many would now insist, absolutely impossible.

At the Restaurant you can meet and dine with (mayan meetan con with dinan on when) a fascinating cross-section of the entire population of space and time. Despite the staggering expense of eating there, it remains popular with everyone from disciples of the Great Prophet Zarquon to dead rock stars. This, it can be explained patiently, is also impossible.

You can visit it as many times as you like (mayan on-visit re- onvisiting ... and so on - for further tense-corrections consult Dr. Dan Streetmentioner's Time Traveller's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations) and be sure of never meeting yourself, because of the embarrassment this usually causes. This, even if the rest were true, which it isn't, is patently impossible, say the doubters.

All you have to do is deposit one penny in a savings account in your own era, and when you arrive at the End of Time the operation of compound interest means that the fabulous cost of your meal has been paid for. This, many claim, is not merely impossible but clearly insane, which is why the advertising executives of the star system of Bastablon came up with this slogan: "If you've done six impossible things this morning, why not round it off with breakfast at Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe?"

We recomend the steak.