Flea-B-Gone

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Got a flea problem that's doggone embarrassing? Try this patented spray from the Interplanetary Shopping Network, and your troubles will be over. It scrambles the fleas’ senses so that they cannot detect fresh blood and thusly starve to death. There are only a few minor side effects including dizziness, drowsiness, nausea, migraines, fevers, constipation, diarrhea, puking, and uncontrollable itching.