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The Golgafrinchans are the ancestors of all Earthlings today, and it shows. Modern Earthlings also contain trace amounts of [[Furon (species)|Furon]] DNA, due to an incident early in their history when a Furon scout ship came across their planet while returning from a conquest of Mars and the Furon space travelers impregnated the "nubile" Earthlings to "let off a little steam". This is believed, though not confirmed, to be the source of excessive apathy, sarcasm and warmongering in some Earthlings.
 
The Golgafrinchans are the ancestors of all Earthlings today, and it shows. Modern Earthlings also contain trace amounts of [[Furon (species)|Furon]] DNA, due to an incident early in their history when a Furon scout ship came across their planet while returning from a conquest of Mars and the Furon space travelers impregnated the "nubile" Earthlings to "let off a little steam". This is believed, though not confirmed, to be the source of excessive apathy, sarcasm and warmongering in some Earthlings.
 
[[Category:Sentient Species]]
 
[[Category:Sentient Species]]
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[[Category:Human Races]]

Revision as of 22:19, 26 September 2012

Human-growth-hormone

This page is about the species. For a list of Earthlings, see Category: Earthlings.

Earthlings are a race of Humans that inhabit planet Earth, known as "Ickies" on planet K-9, "Bald-Bottomed, Bi-Nostrilled Earthcritters" on planet Zort, and a number of unprintable words and phrases on more planets than we care to count. Although they believe themselves to be the most intelligent species of that planet, they are in fact only the third most intelligent, coming in behind Mice and Dolphins, respectively.

Earth was designed with organic life as part of its computer matrix, and as such was inhabited by Humans to begin with. They lived lives of peace and prosperity, with an extremely primitive culture that never developed much of anything. The main reason they never developed much of anything is that they were wiped out by another race of Humans, the Golgafrinchans. When they saw the Golgafrinchans' idiocy it seems that most of them lost the will to live, although some of their genetics probably persisted through interbreeding.

The Golgafrinchans are the ancestors of all Earthlings today, and it shows. Modern Earthlings also contain trace amounts of Furon DNA, due to an incident early in their history when a Furon scout ship came across their planet while returning from a conquest of Mars and the Furon space travelers impregnated the "nubile" Earthlings to "let off a little steam". This is believed, though not confirmed, to be the source of excessive apathy, sarcasm and warmongering in some Earthlings.