Life, the Universe and Everything Wiki

There are of course many problems connected with life, of which some of the most popular are Why are people born? Why do they die? Why do they want to spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches? Many many millions of years ago a race of hyperintelligent pan- dimensional beings (whose physical manifestation in their own pan-dimensional universe is not dissimilar to those of Humans) got so fed up with the constant bickering about the meaning of life which used to interrupt their favourite pastime of Brockian Ultra Cricket that they decided to sit down and solve their problems once and for all.

To this end they built themselves a stupendous super computer called Deep Thought which is so amazingly intelligent that even before the data banks had been connected up it had started from I think therefore I am and got as far as the existence of rice pudding and income tax before anyone managed to turn it off. It is the size of a small city. Its main console is installed in a specially designed executive office, mounted on an enormous executive desk of finest ultramahagony topped with rich ultrared leather. The dark carpeting is discreetly sumptuous, exotic pot plants and tastefully engraved prints of the principal computer programmers and their families were deployed liberally about the room, and stately windows look out upon a tree-lined public square.

Deep Thought caused some initial distress to its operators Lunkwill and Fook by claiming to be only the second greatest computer in the Universe of Time and Space, but was soon tasked with calculating the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything. This task took seven and a half million years, largely owing to the fact that no one actually knew what the Question was. Loonquawl and Phouchg were chosen to receive the Answer and were most distressed when it turned out to be forty-two. Deep Thought was unable to calculate the Question itself and so designed another computer, the first greatest which it had foreseen, to undertake a ten-million year program towards that end. This computer is known to us as the planet Earth.

Following these monumental tasks, Deep Thought spent most of its time watching television. However it was commissioned to design a Point of View Gun for the Intergalactic Consortium of Angry Housewives. It created one before receiving a request to make it work only on men, and then created six more after this pattern. All six were then delivered to them with its warning: it can be very dangerous to see things from somebody else's point of view without the proper training. Then Deep Thought went back to watching television.